Fatigue in motherhood

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Hi Guys!!! Welcome back AND hellooooo (in my Dorey voice) if you're new here!

Y'all already know I'm going to just get straight to it!

How many of you have experienced fatigue in motherhood? Fatigue in womanhood? How many of you have known someone that has experienced fatigue in motherhood? Probably a lot of you! So I was listening to a podcast by Jerry Flowers and sidebar I've always wanted to say if you know you know! So glad I could get that off my chest. So, Jerry is like the older brother that I always wanted, he has this old school knowledge of the word and kicks it you in a new school way. One thing that he does that I absolutely believe is necessary is that he gives you the proper tools on how to OVERCOME and he gives you scripture to back it up! Did I mention that he kicks it to you in a new school way??!!! So Jerry if you ever come across this big up's to you and have your people call me!!! I believe that you are truly anointed and I share your messages with all of the people in my life! You have been sent for a mission that you are fulfilling every time that you are the oracle for Gods people. Have your people call me! For real though!

The episode that I listened to is on the Apple Podcast called That's How You Burn Out | Firefighters | Part 8 | Jerry Flowers and you can find it on Apple Podcast or YouTube.

Actually here is the link! This way you don't have to go searching.

https://youtu.be/855L2tP08D0?si=FzP6W7VPvDRridSy

The reason why I even bring up this video is because this might be able to help you identify where you or someone you know has experienced fatigue. It opened my eyes on a few things. I like to give you all the tools that have helped me.

Whether you're the main caregiver or you pick up the slack, fatigue in motherhood can happen to anyone. It happens when we allow ourselves to get depleted in one area or all areas. Something that Jerry talks about in the sermon mentioned above is to make sure that you aren't running on fumes in ANY area. The reason why this is so important is because when we aren't good no one else is and our Godly mission has to go on halt until we're in a better spot. I'm speaking from personal experience.

It all started this week and everything was going fine until .... I was in good spirits until I got a text that my shift was canceled and then other money that I thought was coming in was canceled. You know when you've just prayed that prayer of "lord bless my finances so that I can do..." so it was right after that. So by the time the 2nd blow had hit I was already mentally done but still holding on. I'm like "dang I wanted to put that money away but back to square one we go."

This is the time to go and listen to the sermon listed above because it talks about "body shots" in short Jerry explains when the enemy keeps giving you body shots and you keep walking around acting fine until it's no longer fine. He also states that the enemy doesn't want to Mike Tyson you but he wants to tire you out! He wants you to be like ok forget this.

Let's pause there! The issue is never really about the money is it? It's about the fact that you trusted and prayed and you were doing so good and now you just got slapped back down and you're trying to figure out where to go because your plans have been altered. On top of the money my kids are just doing what they do best! Being themselves. All of this is happening while my husband is coming out of a 48 hour shift. Needless to say I was just exhausted from parenting alone.

Side note: never count money until you have actually received it.

Where I went wrong is that I didn't stop and thank God for closing the doors that I thought I needed! Ever hear that song by Neyo in the movie The Princess and The Frog? it sings like this "your the best thing I never knew I needed for the way you changed my plans for being the perfect distraction".

Is God not our perfect distraction? Is he not able to turn any situation around?

What I did was a downward spiral and started negatively thinking and that went real far real fast. I didn't focus on the good things Philippians 4:6, I kept thinking about what was going wrong.

STOP! Stop that way of thinking! It gets you no where! I'm not saying that you aren't supposed to feel your feelings and take the time to process them but what I am saying is put a time limit on it! For me I give myself 3 times to talk about something that is bothering me to a trusted person. Before I even go to a person I have already prayed and am in continuous prayer over the situation.

Fatigue in motherhood might look like something different for you than it is for me. It could mean that you have had it up to heaven in laundry and you need a break or that you have cleaned the 100th spill from your 2 year old or even you're tired of your husband not putting his shoes in their designated space (me looking at my husbands sneakers to my right, not in the closet). You've had prayers and talks with your family about said things but what was the action behind it?

I have learned that some of us will complain and pray (myself included) about a situation but we never take action! Action might look like ok, I need to hire a laundry service, "thank you lord, that I have good knees to clean up this spill but Jimmy if you're done with your cup place it in the sink", or "honey I placed your sneakers in the closet next time can you remember to do it".

Take action and advocate for yourself! During this season of fatigue in motherhood I realized that I felt alone and that's because I didn't let anyone know where my breaking point was and I kept surviving. I am telling you from personal experience that it gets exhausting always being the strong, reliable, she's fine friend. We often think that no one cares or that people aren't really listening but you know who always is? God! Pray that he gives you a support system on earth to help you out, call on his name for strength, walk away from whatever it is until you gather yourself.

I have cried several times this week because I felt alone. All the while I never spoke up and told my husband how I was feeling. I just assumed that he could see the signs of exhaustion and that he would offer help. My husband isn't wired to just see the signs of exhaustion and just take action and that might be how your husband operates too and THAT IS OK! We are not the same as our husbands and it's ok to say "I need to go out ALONE and I'll be back" or "can you take the kids out of the house for a bit I need some alone time". Please realize that even if your husband isn't a see the signs of exhaustion type of man that he can offer help in other ways. For me I have to tap my husband in and that might look like "it's on tonight when you get home (insert wink)" or "can you pray for me"? or "hold me as tight as you can". I have to tell him when I need assistance and he will make sure to get me what I need. It took a while for me to realize that just because I don't see him doing things in the forefront it doesn't mean that he's not working. Isn't that how God is? Psalms 83:1 CEV states Our God, don't just sit there, silently doing nothing! When I read this post last year I interpreted it exactly how it sounds. Our God just doesn't there not doing anything! He is always working things out for us even when we don't feel like he is.

Again, we're different people with different minds and I love my husband for that! I love that we aren't the same! I also, think that just because I am a listener and when I see that he might need help with the kids I come running to his rescue, that doesn't mean that he's not helpful because he doesn't do that for me. Some of you may think differently and that's ok too. I am just here to tell you that your husband might not react the way that you would and that is ok! It is also ok to stand up and speak for yourself! Gone are the times when we have to sit back and take on all of the

responsibility. Honestly, I don't believe that there was ever a time that should have been ok! We are modern women! Speak up, get the help that you need, and them kids yes, them kids will be ok with McDonalds or cereal on the nights that you don't want to cook! Along with other things that will help take the burden off of you.

Thank you God to my support system. Y'all know who you are, I pray for y'all daily and thank God for y'all daily.

If any of this sounds like you, here are a few tips! I love a numbered list because you know these blogs just give you a bunch of info and sometimes you just want to scroll without the fluff hahahahaha!!!!

1. Pray, even when you don't feel like and if you can't pray get someone to intercede on your behalf (I had to do that this week)

2. Find someone you trust to openly talk to (friend, pastor, husband, counselor). God gives us help mates but we need to access them

3. SPEAK UP! Let your trusted person know that you are not ok and what you need if you know

4. Mommycation, staycation, walk, shopping (a healthy outlet from your kids or the reason for the exhaustion)

5. Rest in the lord that this situation won't be forever

6. Thank God for the closed doors

7. Change the way you think

8. Know that you were made for the kids that you have and vice versa

9. Get a journal and write down your thoughts, scriptures, and prayers! This is one that I have used.

https://amzn.to/3xz0OVT

As always here are a few scriptures

Isaiah 58:9 TPT- Then YAHWEH will answer you when you pray. When you cry out for help, he will say "I am here."

Philippians 4:6 TPT- Don't be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God's wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ. Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable, and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure, and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always. Put into practice the example of all that you have heard from me or seen in my life and the God of peace will be with you in all things.

Habakkuk 2:3 GNBDC- Put it in writing, because it is not yet time for it to come true. But the time is coming quickly, and what I show you will come true. It may seem slow in coming, but wait for it; it will certainly take place, and it will not be delayed.

2 Timothy 1:7 GNBDC- For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.

Psalms 25:15-20 CEV- I always look to you, because you rescue me from every trap. I am lonely and troubled. Show that you care and have pity on me. My awful worries keep growing. Rescue me from sadness. See my troubles and misery and forgive my sins. Look at all my enemies! See how much they hate me. I come to you for shelter. Protect me, keep me safe, and don't disappoint me. I obey you with all my heart, and I trust you, knowing that you will save me.

I will not ever recommend something that I haven't done and remember that you have your own path so this may not work for you but in the middle of any situation put God in the mix. I pray that this post helps you and that you send it to someone that may benefit from it.

I'm writing this post scared! Scared, of being vulnerable but I know if I feel this way that someone out there is looking for a post to help them and here it is.

You know what! I had to stop! HS just reminded me that he didn't give me the spirit of fear 1 Timothy 1:7 and that if I'm scared it's because the devil knows that this will help someone! So with that I'm posting this!

Look out for my next posted titled The Power Of Yet.

Here is a pic I took earlier this week.