Getting my boobs back

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Sooooo I would love to start this off with a cute greeting and a "hi, how are you"? But we don't have time for all that! So today is I believe my 3rd day and will my by 4th night of no breastfeeding and we went cold turkey!

Going cold turkey was the best decision for me but lord I wish I knew that I would be feeling tired, weak, angry, and sad. I have cried multiple times this week! Not because breastfeeding is over but because I was NOT prepared for all of the hormone changes. I know I know I know that probably sounds dumb. When I stopped breastfeeding my daughter she was 2.5 and I was pregnant with my son. It was too painful for me to keep going plus she was well over 2. This time around my son is close to being 2.5 so I'm ready. My pregnancy must have blocked a lot of hormones because booyyyyy I don't remember it being like THIS!

Oh did I mention that I am getting acne? I truly was just not prepared. Then I read online that it could take up to 3 months for the body to regulate the hormones and imma need that to be sped up a little bit. In the name of Jesus I rebuke and bind it taking 3 months or longer to regulate my hormones back to pre pregnancy.

Earlier this week it was the sadness and being angry and today its the being tired! This week was jam packed with activities so I can't even take a nap if I wanted to.

Even though I don't regret my decision to go cold turkey I do wish that I had done more research so that I could have prepared myself for what I was getting into. Besides the painful and rock hard breasts there are headaches, feeling weak (muscle fatigue), sadness, dry mouth, loss of appetite, anger, and being super tired even after resting.

For full transparency I started writing this blog yesterday and today I'm adding to it. Today I woke up with a upset stomach. You know the feeling after you had drinks and the next day your stomach feels gross? The bubbly, non-settled, only a Ginger Ale and a breakfast sandwich or a day on the couch can fix?! That's what I'm experiencing today. My husband even asked me "why are you acting like you have a hangover"?

After countless Google research and talking with other moms I have found that a lot of what I am going through is not only normal but it actually happens to a lot of moms. The question is, why is it that no one told me? Why are the symptoms of stopping breastfeeding not talked about more? Why do I think I need a support group for ending breastfeeding for the hormonal changes specifically? At ANY or the many postop or lactation appointments why isn't there any information on stopping breastfeeding?

Some women experience grief in ending breastfeeding but I believe that comes with the circumstances around how and why you have chosen to stop breastfeeding. For me personally I have been breastfeeding for the past 5 years so I was ready to stop. As mentioned earlier I breastfed my daughter until she was 2.5 and then only stopped during my pregnancy with my son due to the fact that breastfeeding was too painful while being pregnant. As soon as my son was born I went back to breastfeeding. My mom helped me wean my daughter! Thank God for amazing moms! Since my son is closer to being 2.5 I was ready to stop our breastfeeding journey. As mentioned before I do not regret going cold turkey or stopping breastfeeding nor do I feel grief about it. Again, I do feel like I was unprepared for the hormonal rollercoaster. I feel a little sad when my son lifts my shirt and sees that I have band-aids on and I tell him that the milk has gone bye bye. He understands that the milk is going bye bye which made stopping breastfeeding so much easier. I am excited to not have to stop what I'm doing to breastfeed or having to make sure that I have on a shirt that I can nurse in or finding a spot to sit in and nurse, and even having people ask "you're still nursing"? The journey of breastfeeding is a extremely personal relationship between mother and baby. I loved the moments of breastfeeding but I am ready to have my body back. I'm sure most moms can relate to that.

The definition of grief according to Google is "intense sorrow, especially caused by someone's death". Well, I'm here to tell you that isn't true! Grief doesn't start when you lose someone. Grief is the definition of mourning ANYTHING! Grief is the fact that something or someone is no longer there. Grief is when your child is distraught because they lost their favorite toy. Remember the time that you lost your favorite earring? Yes, because that was me a couple of weeks ago! I lost 1 of my earrings. The reason why I was experiencing grief is because I had bought those earrings with money that I had earned and they were my REAL go to daily earrings. As a work when I can SAHM (stay at home mom) if you know you know! I saved for those earrings. Not my fake Shein jewelry or the expensive jewelry that my husband got me for a special occasion. My nice Swarovski daily earrings. I had to pray that God would provide me with some even better earrings to replace the 1 that I lost. Zechariah 9:12 I will repay you twice over with blessing for all you have suffered.

For grief I recommend a book called Crossroads: Daily Inspirations for Trusting God written by Angela Bellinger. One line that particularly stood out to me was "I'm living for my future". Everything that happens today is just a bump in the road and it WON'T always be like THIS! The pain won't be there forever, the sadness won't be there forever, and loneliness won't be there forever! Take it 1 day at a time and continue to pray! I am living for my future because it can only get better from here! Below is a amazon link to Angela Bellinger's book.

https://amzn.to/3IFQa28

Ok, so here are some tips that I recommend!

1. PRAY, PRAY, AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE!

2. Fall in love with yourself all over again because the acne is acne-ing

3. Do your research on what hormonal changes ARE taking place

4. Know its the hormones talking and NOT you

5. Find a way to cope with the changes (walks in nature, talking with friends, working out, doing things that you love)

6. Find a professional to help if needed

7. Know that you are not alone

8. You AND your child are going through a MAJOR change

9. Prepare for tantrums (toddlers)

10. Distractions help you and your child (tv, park, walks, snacks)

11. The need for the hormone oxytocin is REAL (get the love and affection that you need from your spouse or kids)

12. Look forward to your future

I pray that his helps you or that you send this to someone who needs these words.